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Post by juliette greyback on Sept 14, 2009 21:31:49 GMT -5
Juliette had just come from the Great Hall, and was feeling extremely contemplative. She walked down to the lake and sat down on one of the giant rocks by it. She sighed and rested her chin on her hand. Juliette had just started to think about how she was acting, and felt extremely horrible. She had never thought about what she was doing and saying, and how she was treating people...it had never been important to her. Since her first year, she had been in the cool crowd.
People loved her because of her cool personality, spunk, and smarts. Plus, she was a very beautiful, sweet, and innocent girl. She had hung out with the wrong crowd at Hogwarts; the Slytherin crowd. She had turned into a bitch by her third year. The transformation had been slow, and barely noticeable most of the time. But then the time had come where the old Juliette had all but disappeared. Nothing really mattered to her by fifth year, and she stopped attending classes and doing her homework.
She ditched her old friends and hung out with the popular ones, becoming one of the most known people in school. She messed with people, blamed her antics on others and got people in trouble. She had never thought once about any of it. And now, here she was, Princess of Slytherin. She acted rude, stupid, mean, cold, and was an absolute bitch to people. She just realized that she hated herself. She hated her cocky ways, her fake attitude, and her plastic-ness. She hated all of it. She put her head in her hands and let out a sob.
She couldn't stand herself at the moment. She was extremely disappointed and felt so horrible about her years at Hogwarts. She had been a complete disgrace, and had never gotten a childhood, all because she had fell in with the wrong people. She had never let herself cry when she was younger. She was discouraged about showing emotions in her house. Her mother had taught her that emotions made you weak, and crying was a weakness; a luxury that her family couldn't have afforded. Juliette let out another body-wracking sob. Now that the flood-gates were open, they couldn't close. Juliette didn't know how long she had been there, but she felt time moving. She didn't feel it minute by minute, but by large chunks.
All she could do was sit there and cry. Her face was probably red and puffy by now, and she probably looked horrible. It was a good thing she hadn't worn make-up, or she would've had the dreaded mascara tears all over her cheeks. The tears were still flowing, but she heard someone behind her and wiped her eyes. The tears had almost stopped, and she forced herself to get in control of her emotions. She wiped her hands over her face, and turned around, seeing Jessica standing behind her. "Yes?" Juliette asked, but not in a mean tone. Just in a curious one. Juliette, at this point in time, couldn't force herself to act a bitch. She was too confused and upset right now. She wondered why Jessica was out here. Did her class end already? The thought of classes made a sob rise in Juliette's throat, but she held it at bay.
She couldn't do that right now, not in front of Jessica.[/font]
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Post by jessica evania goyle on Sept 15, 2009 18:00:11 GMT -5
* [/color] how could you be so ,[/color]   ( [/color]SO HEARTLESS )[/color][/font][/size] -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -[/b][/color][/center] Jessica had walked into the potions class with confidence, she had no fears as she turned in Juliette's homework under her own. And when the professor told them today's task was going to be quite a challenge she paid attention a little more and that was the end of it. But her mind never stayed on the topic of potions it was wondering back to Juliette. She would concentrate so perfectly and then it would slip. Halfway through the class she had enough. The moment she decided class wasn't worth it she raised her hand telling the tale of a stomach ache before moaning and groaning out of the classroom.
The walk out of the classroom and to the lake was slow as her head told her not to go. She didn't want to see the twins being there usually stupid selves, bowing down to Juliette as if she was a priceless possession and not a person.
The heart disagreed, unfortunately. When she reached the lake it seemed to early and she stopped feeling the breeze whip her hair lightly into her face as she looked for Juliette. She wasn't that hard to spot. On her usual rock, her usual spot where anyone could find her. Although no one really looked for anyone while classes were going so she was safe. Jessica walked softly behind Juliette to the point where she was standing directly behind her.
Juliette never noticed. She was crying hard and Jessica felt her stomach clench. If she was a mean person this would be the perfect time to get back at Juliette for all the things she had done. All the things she had said. And all the things she was probably thinking anyway. Jessica wasn't a mean person so she stood still, it's not like she couldn't be frightened of Juliette. The girl was a bad person when she wasn't sad and depressed. Imagining what her state could be now was impossible.
"Yes?" The words hit like a sliver bullet. They were so full of sorrow, and Jessica wanted to help her. "Juliette? Are you Okay?" It was the perfect set up for mockery. She could hear the voice now. But the girl in front of her seemed different so Jessica sat down next to her; still extremely nervous.
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Post by juliette greyback on Sept 15, 2009 18:14:55 GMT -5
Juliette's heart broke a little bit more when Jessica asked if she was okay. No, she wasn't. But for Jessica to actually ask; or to care, after the way that Juliette had treated her all these years was too much for her to take. She felt the tears returning and turned her face. She shook her head, trying to get control of herself. It was, obviously, not going so well. Juliette felt so guilty for treating Jessica the way that she had. Jessica was a person, not a possession. It wasn't funny to humiliate her, or make fun of her, or any of the other things that she had done to her over the years. She wondered why Jessica had stayed with her all these years...was it because she was so pathetic? She didn't know, but didn't really want to either way. It would've broken her a little more.
Juliette shook her head out of her thoughts again, trying to focus on the conversation she was trying to pull off without looking too weak. She wanted to run and hide right now, but she couldn't. She had gotten herself into this mess, and she had no way out. She was trapped. And it was in a stainless steel cage, one that people could look at her through like a zoo animal. She felt hopeless, and wanted to fix so many things in her life that she couldn't. She wanted to go and apologize to everyone that she had hurt, to go and hand in every homework assignment that she had missed, to go and stand up to the girls that got her into this in the first place...but Juliette wasn't strong enough. No matter the facade that she put on underneath, Juliette was a startlingly weak person. Everyone has their breaking points, and Juliette had found hers'.
Juliette pulled up her calm and blank mask, brushing her hands over her face and running one through her hair. "Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks for asking." Juliette said, blankly. She inwardly cursed; when had she ever thanked anyone? She was really bad at lying all of a sudden. She felt as if everything had changed all of a sudden. It seemed surreal, strange, new...and Juliette knew that nothing else had changed. Nothing but her. She'd rather have everything else change, and her stay the same, but it was karma and it had just given her a swift kick in the ass.She didn't know if it was a good or bad thing.
Would it be the thing that ruined her forever, or would it be a blessing in disguise?[/font]
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Post by jessica evania goyle on Sept 15, 2009 18:44:09 GMT -5
* [/color] how could you be so ,[/color] ( [/color]SO HEARTLESS )[/color][/font][/size] -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -[/b][/color][/center] Jessica hadn't realized she was holding her breath. Trying to keep it in long enough so that her unsteady and weak breathing wouldn't be heard. She could hear them in Juliette's rocky voice. But that was from trying her own was from fear. She looked at Juliette thinking that she had to be strong, one of them had to be. And it was her turn.
Or at least that's what her brain was telling her. "Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks for asking." Jessica rolled her eyes at the lie. Being alright didn't involve crying, sobbing, or her excessive kind voice that was creeping Jessica out. Did someone take over Juliette's body? Was there some Hufflepuff in there? It was a mocking question but Jessica smiled at the thought. Alright, huh? Doesn't seem like it. Taking her biscuit out of her bag she handed half to Juliette while she spoke. "What's up Juliette?" As she said her friend's name her voice went from playful to worried once again.
That's when Jessica replaying Juliette's words caught the error. The one that couldn't be right. Something she couldn't have overlooked because you would never miss something so absurd as a thank you from Juliette. Her face turned to Juliette as she thought it over, her eyes wide as she spoke. Only a mumble came out, "You said thank you."
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Post by juliette greyback on Sept 15, 2009 19:41:22 GMT -5
Juliette knew she seemed like she was having a mental breakdown, which was exactly what was happening. But Juliette had been known as the strong one, the fighter, the bitch, the survivor...she didn't know if she could leave that behind. If she did, she'd be shunned. She didn't know if she could handle that. But who would she become if she left this Juliette behind? She didn't remember how she was; she had changed herself so young. What would she do? She couldn't really do anything. She had to put back on her mask, and act as if nothing happened. She didn't want to, though. She didn't really have a choice.
She sighed, and her facade fell. She couldn't hold it up any longer. She didn't know how she'd survive back up at the castle. That would be hard, especially in this state of mind. She didn't know if she could confidently strut into the castle, but on that confident face, sneer and smirk at everyone as she walked, and have people following behind her like paparazzi anymore. She didn't ever want to see Lana and Elizabeth ever again! And she sure didn't want to see her group, either. They'd know something was up, and then the shunning would become. She realized that as she thought, her expressions were showing on her face. First fear, worry, pain, hopelessness, and then it finally settled on that broken look. She didn't like it, not at all.
She sort-of smiled and took the part of biscuit that Jessica offered her. She bit into it, and munched. She didn't know if she could open her mouth and speak without her saying something absolutely embarrassing. This situation was already embarrassing enough, did she really want more of that? "Sort-of, I guess. I'm not...that okay." Juliette said, not knowing how to explain how she was feeling. She had never had to express her emotions before, and had been so used to bottling them up. This was new, weird, and different for her. "Just some stuff. I looked back on my life, and realized how ridiculous everything was. I mean...I, I just, I..." Juliette stopped. She didn't know how to continue.
When she heard Juliette's rebuttal, she laughed slightly. Juliette's face took on a surprised expression. She hadn't genuinely laughed in 8 years...and it felt good. Everything from this point on was foreign to her...as if she'd done it before, but fell out of practice. "Yeah...I guess I did." Juliette said, slightly confused. Her mind was unbelievable befuddled. She hated being so lost, it just didn't suit her very well.[/font]
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Post by jessica evania goyle on Sept 16, 2009 18:25:50 GMT -5
* [/color] how could you be so ,[/color] ( [/color]SO HEARTLESS )[/color][/font][/size] -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -[/b][/color][/center] A little smirk came to Jessica's smile. She really wanted to know if this was the 'new Juliette'. She also didn't know if she liked it; the emotional girl that might be her new friend. The girl who wouldn't stop crying in front of her because of something she had known about forever. Her thoughts were heartless, just how Slytherins thoughts are suppose to be. There has never been anything wrong with it before till now apparently. So Jessica said what she could imagine her mother saying to her. "Juliette, i know your feeling down and all but it's nothing to cry over. It's just something to think about. Crying only wastes time." Jessica was proud of how strong her voice was, it didn't waver at all.
"Now for some apparent reason you've had a change of heart." Jessica left out that it was really creepy and making her feel strange inside. As she saw Juliette crying she wanted to run, she wanted to go so bad yet the girl there was most likely her responsibility in more than one ways. "Do you know what your going to do about that?" Her voice went to a whisper and whatever strength she had left as well. She stopped her fake smile knowing it didn't fool anyone. "We can solve this mystery. "
She leaned into her own lap and clasped her hands together waiting for an answer. Her eyes never left Juliette waiting for a response. She blinked purposely to see if the emotional Juliette would disappear. She didn't.
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Post by juliette greyback on Sept 16, 2009 18:43:17 GMT -5
Juliette looked to the water. Jessica was right, as always. Juliette was so scared right now that it was unbelievable. Then a thought came crashing into her head. "You won't tell anyone that you saw any of this, right? Because I wouldn't be able to bear it. Just because I finally got a conscience...it doesn't mean that everyone needs to know about it!" Juliette said, panicked. If Jessica went and told anyone about any of this, she was done for. She'd be an outcast for sure, and no one would bother with her. They'd think she was some pathetic, weak little girl that couldn't say no to anyone. Her mask had to go back up as soon as she got up off of this rock. She'd have to treat everyone the same as she did before, but she felt like she couldn't.
It'd weigh too heavily on her mind. She wouldn't be able to do that confident strut, that insulting tone, that vile smirk...it was tearing her apart. "There's not much I can do. I have to figure out some way to continue this whole thing, I have to. All these years I've worked so hard to get where I am...I can't lose it all." Even though she did want to lose it all; her friends, her followers, her enemies, and everyone else, she wouldn't be able to suffer through the torments and everything else that would fly her way. Then an idea dawned on her, but she doubted that Jessica would go along with it. She needed Jessica to obliviate her. She needed to forget that this whole epiphany happened. At all. That was the only way.
She would miss this side of herself, but it's not like she'd know what she was missing. That would be impossible. After all, you can't miss something you've never known. That's why she didn't miss love, friendship, and anything else that was sappy; she'd never known it. "Jessica, I need you to do me a huge favor. Promise me that you'll carry through with it after I tell you." Juliette said, looking straight into Jessica's eyes. She needed to know that Jessica would do this for her. It was the only way that Juliette knew how to end this whole mess, and make sure that she was back with the old Juliette. The one that had a conscience couldn't stay around; she'd be crushed.[/font]
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Post by jessica evania goyle on Sept 19, 2009 1:19:40 GMT -5
* [/color] how could you be so ,[/color] ( [/color]SO HEARTLESS )[/color][/font][/size] -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -[/b][/color][/center] Jessica pulled her hair a little as Juliette told her not to spill. After all the times Jessica had stood up for her the girl still didn't trust her. She frowned wishing they were like real friends instead of this. Not that Juliette would ever consider being real friends with her. It was impossible in too many different ways for too many different reasons. "Think about it Juliette who would i tell and more importantly who would believe me?" She raised an eyebrow as she said it; Holding the effect.
She pulled her hair a little more causing slight pain in her scalp. "Not like you should be concerned about your 'reputation' anyway, your only going to be losing fake friends." Jessica winced as she realized she had been pulling her hair a little too hard. She let go quickly and sat on her hand so she wouldn't go back to pulling her hair out of habit.
"So what are you going to do?" She sounded slightly more eager than she should have been asking Juliette and hoping for the correct answer to come out. Of course she really wanted Juliette to make the decision before she over thought it. If Jessica had the decision she would be absolutely stumped. Yet pressure seemed to be flowing from her.
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Post by juliette greyback on Sept 19, 2009 18:06:53 GMT -5
"So? I need them! They make me...me! If I don't have them, I'll have nothing. They'll make fun of me. I can't handle that! Just because I look all tough and strong and crap doesn't mean that it's true! None of it is! It's all a stupid act, a life away from my one, a different person...you name it that's basically what it is!" Juliette rambled. For some reason, she just had to say it out loud. She was scared what Jessica would say, but didn't say a word after.
"Probably no one would believe you, but I'm just covering my bases." Juliette said. She really didn't want anyone to know. If they did, they'd keep it at the back of their mind and the minute she wavered, they'd know it was true. But Juliette hadn't ever wavered before, and she sure as hell wouldn't now! The only way she would was if Jessica didn't go along with the plan. But Jessica just had to! It was severely important. Jessica would never understand how important it was.
"You have to promise me first! Say it! Say, 'I promise that I'll do whatever you want me to, Juliette'. You have to, it's super important!" Juliette said, slightly panicked. "I'm going to need you to cast the Obliviate charm on me. Please, I'll show you how to do it, but the person that does it can't be themselves. Please Jessica, I need you to." Juliette said, begging. If Jessica didn't go along with it...she didn't know what she'd do.[/font]
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Post by jessica evania goyle on Sept 20, 2009 21:57:35 GMT -5
* [/color] how could you be so ,[/color] ( [/color]SO HEARTLESS )[/color][/font][/size] -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -[/b][/color][/center] Jessica rolled her eyes, Juliette didn't need anybody. Or at least that's the feeling you got from her. So the fact that she was confessing she needed all the people that surrounded her on a daily basis was almost frightening. Now as Juliette told her she had to promise Jessica almost shook her head no before looking at Juliette's face and seeing how scared it was. She felt her stomach clench in fear as she said, "Okay ya sure i promise."
Then Juliette rambled on about a memory charm. Jessica felt her eyes go wide in disbelief. "I- I don't know about this. What if it goes wrong, i mean i've heard stories about it and i'm not a professional." She stopped short knowing none of it would matter to Juliette her mind was already set. "Alright but not now. Classes are almost over and if we're caught, we'll i'm dead." She shook her head lightly. "Just pretend to be yourself and we'll do it tomorrow while everyone else is in Hogsmeade." She frowned lightly worrying.
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Post by juliette greyback on Sept 21, 2009 15:18:42 GMT -5
Juliette's eyes widened as Jessica said she had to wait. She couldn't be that girl that she was everyday. She had to forget this. She didn't want to lose this part of herself, but she needed to be the old her. She hated this whole epiphany and wished she was a dumb blonde sometimes. It would've been so much easier on her most of the time, and she was too smart for herself. Other times, she wished she was someone else. She was sure that other people wanted to be her, and she'd trade any day. She hated herself, but had never said that out loud. No matter what would happen, she'd never, ever, ever say that out loud.
"No! Jessica, I can't do it! Please, you have to! Please, Jessica!" Juliette begged, her eyes getting teary again. What was up with this crying thing? Juliette didn't like it, and it gave her a headache. Speaking of which, Juliette had a migrane. She tried rubbing her temples and winced, as that didn't do anything to help. Today was definitely a first, and if Jessica did what she wanted, then it would've never existed. Well, at least in Juliette's mind. Juliette sighed and stared at Jessica waiting for her to say something. Juliette just hoped that she'd like whatever popped out of Jessica's mouth. If she didn't, she'd have to find a way to do it for herself.
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Post by jessica evania goyle on Sept 22, 2009 23:44:29 GMT -5
* [/color] how could you be so ,[/color] ( [/color]SO HEARTLESS )[/color][/font][/size] -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -[/b][/color][/center] Jessica felt the prickles of fear roll down her forehead, laced with sweat. She reached for Juliette's shoulder leaning lightly against it as she thought; well more like looked for a way out of turning Juliette back. She couldn't and when she realized that she only let out a small sigh leading into an agreement she didn't want to make. "Ya whatever i'll do it now." Her heart let go of the hope that she could have a nice friend if only for a little bit. Standing up and letting go of Juliette's shoulder she turned to face her. "Let's get on with it before class gets out."
She pulled Juliette up as her mind ran in circles proclaiming how I shouldn't be doing this, how it was wrong, and worst of all how it could go wrong in a million bad ways. Looking at Juliette's drying tears she felt a couple of her own come out of hiding. She narrowed her eyes as one of her fingers came up to wipe away a tear. Half-whispering she continued, "How do we do this again? Run me through it please." She didn't care about admitting the weakness of a horrible memory, because for that moment she was talking to a different Juliette. One that wouldn't remember anything tomorrow about this. One that would still push her around, use the twins as a threat, and skip classes without caring at all. Just like she was suppose to.
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Post by juliette greyback on Sept 23, 2009 6:09:43 GMT -5
Juliette looked at Jessica as she agreed, and hugged her tightly. "Thanks Jess! Before we do this, could I just say one thing? I don't mean any of that stupid stuff I say. I only say it because I have to. You're a pretty cool person, and you're an awesome friend." Juliette said with a smile. She believed what she had just said because it was all true. Jessica hadn't left her when she needed her to do the memory charm, and Juliette knew that she was lucky to have such a good friend even when she was such a bitch. "Okay, lemme think." Juliette said, trying to remember how to do the spell. She had read it somewhere, what did she have to do? She didn't remember the movements.
"Okay, I remember! Sorry, spaced there for a second." Juliette said with a bright smile on her face. "This is the wand movement." Juliette moved her wand in an up and down movement, with a flick at the end. "And say 'Obliviate'." Juliette looked over at Jessica, who looked really scared. She wondered why Jess looked like that. Beginners only made the person they were casting the spell on lose a few hours of their memory, and that's exactly what Jessica wanted. It wasn't that much of a big deal, and Juliette herself knew that everything would work out fine. "Everything will work out fine, Jessica, seriously. I have a feeling." Juliette said with a wink, trying to make Jessica feel better.
Juliette sat back down on the rock that she had been sitting on before. She looked at Jessica, and said the few words that would erase her memory of this whole thing forever. "I'm ready when you are."
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Post by jessica evania goyle on Sept 23, 2009 22:15:44 GMT -5
* [/color] how could you be so ,[/color] ( [/color]SO HEARTLESS )[/color][/font][/size] -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -[/b][/color][/center] Lightly Jessica hugged Juliette back as she said the reason why she was so mean all the time. Jessica felt her face turn lightly pink. She couldn't believe she was hearing the words she always assumed. Somehow having the mystery uncovered made a warm part of her heart she didn't know she had get a little fuzzy. She perked up as Juliette started to give her instructions on how to do the memory charm. She felt a little urge to get this over with so that the freaky day could end. She felt a little more confident as Juliette winked at her and told her it was going to be fine.
Jessica took a breath as Juliette sat down on the same rock she had been crying on just minutes before. "I'm ready when you are." Her voice was loud against the seeming too quiet background. She took out her wand and placed her fingers around it comfortably. She raised it to point as Juliette and held her breath momentarily. Up, down and flick. "Obliviate" It was a barely a murmur but it seemed to have enough power because a burst like a lighter came from the tip.
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